"H" is for haircut

I cut off more than most 3 month olds have!

A major milestone, right? I suppose it normally comes a bit later in a baby's life, but Alexander just has so.damn.much.hair and this morning I snapped. I'll explain why at the end of this post, because it's gross and those of you who are squeamish or don't have kids can just skip it. It's not a poo story, don't worry.

In one way it was cute, people all say stuff like, "Holy crap, look at that baby with all the hair!" and "He looks so much older" and whatnot. But if you're the one who has to wash that hair, it's actually annoying. He gets sweaty just like you and I, and his unwashed hair smells just like yours and mine. Yum. Since having his hair washed is something that makes him scream and writhe and kick, I'm kind of stuck with torturing him daily for vanity's sake or letting him stink. Neither option appeals. Since it's still rather thin, it seems like clipping it shorter will help.

He was good, but wasn't exactly willing to sit still for the camera during the haircut.

Plus it's getting too long for the cute little baby mohawk and looks geeky if I just leave it flat. It's actually been so long that even using hair gel, I can't get it to stay up. He seems to have inherited a bit of wave from his dad as well, so it not only won't go up in a mohawk, but it persists in wandering off in directions I haven't approved.


So, enter the clipper. I'd bought the clipper for Jill a few years ago but never use it because her hair is both too thick and too fine. Alexander's is fine, but thickness is not an issue as of yet and it took less than 2 min to skim his head and reduce it to a more manageable length.

Shall we play 'count the chins'?

He was really good about it. I moved it around his head while off, and then I turned it on and held it where he could see it and touch it. Since he wasn't reacting, I decided I was okay to proceed and he didn't squirm much more than when I attempt to do anything else to his hair, really. It was hard to get the stuff around his ears and at the back of his head, by his neck, so I finished off those areas with scissors.

I'm not saying it's all totally even and perfect, but it could be far, far worse, and actually looks kind of good.

So, for the gross story. He still has a cold, and the gunk is moving now, not just stuck up in his head. This means it drips down his throat. All that mucus, mixed with milk is not really stomach settling, if you get my drift. He's been throwing up a bit recently, something the baby vet assures me is fine and because of the mucus. Why do I call it throwing up rather than spitting up? Well, for one it doesn't just burble up after a feeding, he kind of heaves it up, and secondly, it smells. It's been down in his stomach already or something, because it doesn't just smell like milk anymore. Anyway, charming child yaked up a bellyful of ick and then proceeded to rub his face and head in it for an hour, instead of crying for me to come clean him up. Best part? He was In My Bed. Waking up and finding out that the smell which has been nagging at the edges of your consciousness is actually vomit, caked in the hair of your kid and seeping into the mattress a mere three inches from your nose... well, that could cause anyone to take drastic measures. He's just lucky I didn't shave him bald.